As I said before, I have found myself noticing lines since starting a daily art practice. I loved the way the lines moved in this piece, and I truly slowed down when drawing. this is the first time that my body truly felt like a participant in the activity; perhaps it was the chaos in the calm of this experience, but my body almost swayed when I hit a curve in the line, or reacted an intersection. Almost like driving. When I paused to look at my page, I realize that this piece is representative of my mind right now, as I am in the midst of an experience A/r/tography. In the last week, I have felt like each time I have a thought, it intersects with a story. Then there is a curve, and bam. Another story. Another experience, another tension. An old story examined with a different perspective, and new experience relating me to some one else, to a reading, to inexperience in class, to art.
This pick is interesting to me because I can tell that A/r/tography is creeping into my life; I have looked at this lamp many times before and I have never noticed the lines in the textile. I have been noticing lines in a lot of things lately, actually.
The light through the shade has repeatedly captivated me. I have been sitting in this spot frequently, doing school work, or grading…report cards even. Despite the fact that its where my gaze goes when I become distracted, I have never focused on the lines.
The memory that floated in and out was the memory of myself in Grade 3. I was the student was usually started the year near a window, and before the yellow and red leaves fell to the ground in October, I had been moved spots- for looking out the window too much. Being too distracted. I always felt like I was on the wrong side of the glass.
On my third drawing, I found it so funny that I took my “cheat” time to look at my drawing…..but was distracted back to looking at the lamp, which is the opposite reaction I have had with this experience. I wanted more to look at the object as I found more lines, more detail, and wanted to explore that.
Take breath Nicole. If the picture doesn’t look like what you are supposed to be drawing, thats ok. Take a breath. On day three of Daily Art Practice, I decided to take a breath while I was drawing. I put on music. My kids were not in the house, so I was alone. I think this was a monumental part of my experience. As I dive into the “tensions” and the “in-betweens” of my narrative and this art practice, I have to admit to myself just how utterly stressful it it be a working, student, mother.
This is Zoey’s Brown Bear. He was sitting on my desk, so he is what I drew. He has so many lines to his fur. I have not noticed that before. I guess he is more than just a Brown Bear. I guess I am more than just a mom.
My breathing flowed. I wondered what Brown Bear looks like to my kids, do they pay attention to his lines, and this is me just noticing now? Is it returning to a childlike perspective that I truly need? To see things through their eyes once in a while? Brown Bear, he is a fly on the wall in our house. Through this experience of graduate studies and parenting and working and living life, that is now coming to an end in some aspect…what did Brown Bear actually see?
I am inspired to attempt to draw my own face. Looking at a photo of myself, I tried so hard to draw without looking at the page. I mostly succeeded, but was so tempted to look, as I was wondering if my image actually looked like me.
In Kathryn’s class today we explored embodied poetry. The memory I chose to
The face in my sketchpad
I liked drawing faces
Very two dimensionsal and childlike
I was…maybe 10
Short blonde hair, big brown eyes
I told my parents I wanted to be an artist
They praised my drawings
and then my dad cracked a joke about artists
not being able to get a job
He didn’t mean to impact me
It was just a joke
He would never do that to me willingly
But that was the last sketchpad I ever had
I chose to have my daughter in the last image I drew because she is in the photo with me. (re)construct….what will I say to her, when she tells me what she wants to be?